How to Build Good Parent Communication

by Dorit Sasson

There are many reasons for contacting parents. The teacher contacts the parents due to ongoing problems with the child, (example not doing homework, misbehaving, absences) to say good things about the child such as outstanding progress or contribution or to discuss one-off problem, event. The parent likewise may contact you to express his/her concern about the child, to deliver a complaint or to simply congratulate you on your child’s progress.

It is up to the teacher to build the relationship positively. It’s important to build up a feeling of “we are in this together”; “we both want the best for Johnny, how can we cooperate to get what we want?”

Look at the recommendations below and consider them in light of meetings with parents you have had yourself. See what you might change or add from your own experience.

If you’re just starting to build your classroom management presence, it’s crucial that you do less talking and more listening. The same goes for dealing with parents, one of the new teacher’s biggest challenges. One of the most important things to remember is to not get defensive. Listen courteously, attend, make it clear you understand what parents are saying without necessarily agreeing. In short, try to make them understand your point of view without presenting it as an opposition to theirs.

These steps should help you bring about a more effective dialogue with parents.

Step 1. Echo. Listen to what the parent has to say. As soon as s/he finishes, repeat what s/he has said. Try to use almost the exact words. Then, ask for clarification: Did I hear you correctly? Do you want to add something?

Step 2. Confirmation. Let the parent know that you understand the important of what s/he just said. I can see that… I understand that you feel…

Step 3. Empathy. Try to see the other parent’s side. By showing empathy you let him/her know you really hear him or her. I feel that.. I understand…

Step 4. Make a request. Ask the parent what /she wants from you. Suggest what you feel you can do. Please tell me what you actually want. What can I do?

New teacher tips: Although you may have initiated the discussion, your part should be receptive rather than active during the meeting. Talking a lot may give the impression of trying to dominate, which will produce defensive and negative reactions.

• Make it clear you are ‘only’ the teacher; it is the parent who is the major influence on the child.
• Suggest positive ideas about what they might do in the future, basing these on what is happening now.
• Finally, make it clear you respect them